So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
