Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
