Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
