If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
