i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
