then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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