Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
