her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i think i just lost a toe
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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