Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
