I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
