I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
