So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
