I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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