I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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