She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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