okay pat passed out under dana's car
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
