take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
