a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize