And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
