The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
