Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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