sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
