Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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