I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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