Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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