Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Randomize
