Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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