He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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