My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
