We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
