Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it glows. i had to have it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
