I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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