Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Are we still banned from the library?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
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