Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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