I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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