This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
