I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize