I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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