it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
