woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
