omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Mom said you looked used
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
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