Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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