areolas are like halos for boobs.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
