I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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