Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
