I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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