she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
