remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
