One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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