I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
