maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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