we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
