just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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