he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
