I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
How does one acquire holy water?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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