I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
