Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize