i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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