He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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