Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
