I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
