Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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