IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
