you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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