I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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