you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
