her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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