I want to make a zoo with you.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
