We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
