are you so shy because you have an std?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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